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Writing Fiction - 2.6 Heightening your observations
(Developing your powers of observation and including a high level of detail can affect your writing style – for the better. Read back through the notes you have made so far and the character sketch you wrote in 1.11 developing a character (ourbluecouch.blogspot.gr/2015/06/writing-fiction-111-developing).. Now try to add to your notes and sketch, making your observations as detailed as possible.)
So it's what I wrote before with more details.
Here is my attempt:
The moonlight touched her face, her small up-turned nose, her pointy chin,her cheeks, and gave her that bluish tone which made her look like a statue. Genwa, daughter of King Dan-Nur of the Emerald forest, was sitting on a flat stone near the lake surrounded by plants and flowers that no man had ever seen, thinking of the adventures to come when she will finally leave her father’s kingdom. Her long straight ash-blonde hair brushed her back with every breath of air and her pale fingers lightly touched the water and formed silver circles.
Mordith, a handsome young man, was hidden on a tree, trying not to make a single sound. He and Genwa grew up together and dreamed that one day they will go on a quest and explore the world together. Mordith was tall with broad shoulders, athletic as he was captain of the elvish army, with eyes as blue as the clear sky and short brown hair. She stood up, her long dark blue velvet dress made a contrast with her fair skin and Mordith almost lost his grip. He had a crush on Genwa for some time and he knew that she was planning to leave, after all that was their dream.
The tree shook slightly as if a light breeze travelled through its leaves. Genwa turned around knowing she was being watched but acted like nothing has happened, a smile appeared on her crimson lips and her hazel eyes sparkled in the moonlight. She touched the pendant she was wearing, a crescent moon embellished with three small white moonstones dedicated to Relih, god of the elves and whispered a prayer. She decided that it was time to unveil the secret admirer. ‘Are you stalking me now?’ she asked with a fruity voice as she approached the tree. Mordith let out a long sigh and jumped down from the branch he was sitting. He looked deep into her eyes and saw a hint of melancholy behind her smile.‘All the time.’ he replied as if he was asking her permission to do so.
-Georgia Panteli - Mpraikidi
Writing Fiction - 2.6 Heightening your observations
(Developing your powers of observation and including a high level of detail can affect your writing style – for the better. Read back through the notes you have made so far and the character sketch you wrote in 1.11 developing a character (ourbluecouch.blogspot.gr/2015/06/writing-fiction-111-developing).. Now try to add to your notes and sketch, making your observations as detailed as possible.)
So it's what I wrote before with more details.
Here is my attempt:
The moonlight touched her face, her small up-turned nose, her pointy chin,her cheeks, and gave her that bluish tone which made her look like a statue. Genwa, daughter of King Dan-Nur of the Emerald forest, was sitting on a flat stone near the lake surrounded by plants and flowers that no man had ever seen, thinking of the adventures to come when she will finally leave her father’s kingdom. Her long straight ash-blonde hair brushed her back with every breath of air and her pale fingers lightly touched the water and formed silver circles.
Mordith, a handsome young man, was hidden on a tree, trying not to make a single sound. He and Genwa grew up together and dreamed that one day they will go on a quest and explore the world together. Mordith was tall with broad shoulders, athletic as he was captain of the elvish army, with eyes as blue as the clear sky and short brown hair. She stood up, her long dark blue velvet dress made a contrast with her fair skin and Mordith almost lost his grip. He had a crush on Genwa for some time and he knew that she was planning to leave, after all that was their dream.
The tree shook slightly as if a light breeze travelled through its leaves. Genwa turned around knowing she was being watched but acted like nothing has happened, a smile appeared on her crimson lips and her hazel eyes sparkled in the moonlight. She touched the pendant she was wearing, a crescent moon embellished with three small white moonstones dedicated to Relih, god of the elves and whispered a prayer. She decided that it was time to unveil the secret admirer. ‘Are you stalking me now?’ she asked with a fruity voice as she approached the tree. Mordith let out a long sigh and jumped down from the branch he was sitting. He looked deep into her eyes and saw a hint of melancholy behind her smile.‘All the time.’ he replied as if he was asking her permission to do so.
-Georgia Panteli - Mpraikidi
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